Offence Is a Choice: A Vedic Perspective on Criticism and Bullying
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Offence Is a Choice: A Vedic Perspective on Criticism and Bullying
When someone says something unkind, our first instinct may be to take it personally. This is especially true for young people, whose identities are still forming. For teens and tweens, particularly those who are neurodivergent, the social world can feel threatening, and criticism can cut deeply. Nowadays, there is the added dynamic of group chats, social media and gaming.
However, from the Vedic perspective, we are reminded of something important:
No one can offend you without your participation.
There’s a useful Vedic analogy for this: If someone walks into a room holding a dagger on a silver tray and says, “Would anyone like to pick this up and stab themselves with it?”, it’s not the offer that causes harm, it’s the act of taking the dagger and using it on yourself that creates suffering.
If someone throws an insult or tries to provoke you, they’re offering something and whether or not you accept it is your decision. Taking offence is not automatic, rather, is an act of agreement with what has been said, and that agreement only happens when we’ve lost touch with our True Nature.
Through the practice of Vedic Meditation, we come into contact with a deeper layer of Self, the part of us that doesn’t rise and fall based on the opinions of others. That part is stable, it doesn’t need defending, and it can’t be diminished by words. Over time, meditation refines our awareness and stabilises our sense of identity. From there, we gain a natural immunity to social friction or commentary that attempts to persuade us that we are something other than what we are. We stop reaching for the dagger.
I teach the kids I work with that it isn’t about ignoring cruelty or pretending unkindness doesn’t exist, it’s about seeing clearly:
That offence is not inevitable
That we have agency in how we respond
Our true identity is not shaped by someone else’s state of consciousness
Any comment or insult is merely a reflection of the state of consciousness of the person offering the insult
You are the awareness behind it all. The more you visit that space in Vedic Meditation, the more stable it becomes. Over time, others’ words lose their power to disturb you.
What others say is a report on the reporter (them).
But how you respond, reflects your evolution.
Let the dagger stay on the tray.